US billionaires are $584b richer since the pandemic began and maybe we should eat them?

Between March 18 and June 17, as the coronavirus pandemic raged across the world killing hundreds of thousands and destroying the livelihoods of millions more, America’s 614 billionaires collectively became $584 billion richer.

That’s $584,000,000,000, or half a trillion dollars. An increase of roughly 20%, a leap from $2.948 trillion to $3.531 trillion. The stunning figure was revealed this month by the Institute of Policy Studies, an American think tank.

And while I’m certainly not saying we should boil the bones of the billionaires and slurp on the pungent broth for nutrients – a broth enriched by the crushed lives and dreams of the starving masses – I am saying we should consider it.

During the same 10 week period, more than 40 million Americans have lost their jobs. More than six million people applied for US unemployment benefits in a single week at the start of April. $6.5 trillion in household wealth “disappeared” during these three months, the US Federal Reserve has said.

And while there’s certainly no need to violently revolt and feast on the gooey insides of the billionaire leach class… I’m just saying historically humanity has done so over less. Jeff Bezos wouldn’t be seen dead slumming it in the The Palace of Versailles.

The US government, headed up by an alleged billionaire no less, has provided the nation’s suffering a single solitary cheque for $1200. That payment was delayed because Trump wanted to make sure the cheques had his signature on them. A second payment as part of a $2-3 trillion stimulus package has stalled in the Republican-controlled Senate.

None of this appears to have had any long-term bearing on the stock market, though, which has just had its best quarter since 1998. The NASDAQ, buoyed by tech stocks like Zoom, Tesla, and PayPal, surged 30% during the period. The Washington Post wrote that this period was “one of Wall Street’s best quarters in history”.

Radical thought I know, but a period of misery, poverty and death probably shouldn’t be considered anyone’s best anything.

And while I’m certainly not advocating a violent global upheaval, a redistribution of immorally hoarded wealth to the world’s starving masses as the blood of the guillotined oppressors floods city streets from Washington to Sydney, Paris to Davos, I am saying, you know… maybe?

It wouldn’t even be that hard. There’s literally only 614 of them. According to Facebook I know at least 600 people. You probably do too.

But I’m not advocating for that. Just saying it wouldn’t be that hard, you know?

Think about it.

It’s not all good news though. While I’d hoped we’d be able to get away with just eating Kanye, it turns out we now need to eat Kim as well. 🙁



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