Oh for fuck’s sake. I just don’t know if I can do this anymore, you know?

We’d be better off reporting on my two year old: “Riley says Lego is ‘cool'” At least he gets the facts straight. Lego is cool.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Suck it up, Dave!

Deep breath…

Donald Trump has today used the “AIDS vaccine”, which doesn’t exist, as proof scientists will be able to create a COVID-19 vaccine.

“They’ve come up with the AIDS vaccine,” Trump said at a press conference, referring to no one in particular because no one has come up with an AIDS vaccine, but probably meaning scientists in general, specifically the nerdy looking ones in lab-coats, because that’s how his brain works.

“These are the people — the best, the smartest, the most brilliant anywhere,” he said, confirming my lab-coat theory, before kinda losing it.

“They’ve come up with — or the AIDS. And they — as you know, there’s various things, and now various companies are involved. But the therapeutic for AIDS — AIDS was a death sentence, and now people live a life with a pill. It’s an incredible thing,” Trump garbled, seemingly not having a stroke.

Needless to say none of this is very reassuring.

I’m so, so tired, man.